dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
