I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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