drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
