I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
