tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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