wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
