Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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