totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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