i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
