There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
