they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I need water and some morals
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
