So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
