Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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