Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize