i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
is wine microwaveable?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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