how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
