What a fucking waste of an outfit
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Someone signed my nipple.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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