I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
