i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
