you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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