obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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