i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
