So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Even my vagina gasped.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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