ADVERTISEMENT

• (352): View more from Florida

  the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.

  (407): View more from Florida

  given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was

  (352): View more from Florida

  i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it

  Fav 41 3649 1474

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.

  Fav 37 8158 1826

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (513): View more from Ohio

  he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down

  Fav 8 6887 1491

  share tweet
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"

  Fav 6 6186 1602

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!

  (1-310): View more from California

  you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?

  Fav 30 12341 1703

  share tweet
  

• (778): View more from British Columbia

  She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.

  Fav 8 3880 1050

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (317): View more from Indiana

  Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.

  Fav 14 2822 1486

  share tweet
  

• (386): View more from Florida

  I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.

  Fav 13 4584 1213

  share tweet
  

• (231): View more from Michigan

  Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?

  Fav 4 1993 858

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.

  Fav 10 1649 710

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.

  Fav 0 371 605

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video

  Fav 1 754 369

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy

  Fav 1 208 383

  share tweet
  

• (646): View more from New York

  Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.

  Fav 3 77 26

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (613): View more from Ontario

  But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome

  Fav 0 63 34

  share tweet
  

Randomize