what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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