I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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