She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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