Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
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For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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