So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
