roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
