No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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