Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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