hell yes lets make some ravioli
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
