Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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