I faked an abortion last night.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
