My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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