are you still at the devil's house?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
