to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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