I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
