I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Randomize
