Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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