Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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