champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
