doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
