Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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