i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize