You smell like a Billy Joel song
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
