marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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