wanna go halves on a baby?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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