I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
