You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
