we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
