addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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