She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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