I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
