Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Did I show you my penis last night?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
