its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
