So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
