Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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